


On the House

by SerendipitousDreams



Series: Coffee Shop AU [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, F/M, I am such perc'ahlia trash, a couple mentions of other characters, what has my life come to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-06 20:54:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6769546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerendipitousDreams/pseuds/SerendipitousDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vex’ahlia. It certainly sounded like a character from some fantasy story he’d enjoy. But it didn’t so much as produce a wisp of recognition in his mind. Percy frowned in disappointment. “Bad choice, I’m afraid.”</p><p>The woman’s pleasant demeanor vanished. “Excuse me?”</p><p>“The name. It was a bad choice.”</p><p>“It wasn’t a choice. It’s my name, asshole.” She was glaring at him now.</p><p>Oh.<br/>---<br/>Based on a Tumblr prompt that I saw and then immediately lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the House

**Author's Note:**

> I am such perc'ahlia trash that I have literally read every fic that is on this site for this pairing. Obviously, my only solution is to write more.
> 
> un-beta'd because I'm too lazy to ask people so let me know of any egregious errors.

There wasn’t much Percy enjoyed about working at the coffee shop. The customers were often rude and tended to order ridiculous drinks with frankly appalling combinations of flavored syrups. The morning rush was brutal and hellish to get through. They were chronically understaffed because no sane person wanted to deal with the hell that is food service. Honestly, the only reason why Percy was still working there was because he felt he owed it to Lillith who offered him the job when he quite literally had nowhere else to turn. Now that his life was slightly more in order, he couldn’t in good conscience leave Lillith to attempt to run the small shop on her own.

If there was one thing he might say he enjoyed, it was the regulars. One regular in particular, actually. She came in every Thursday, never quite on time enough to be called like clockwork, but always late enough that Percy’s had time to recover from the morning rush of students and office workers and early enough that he didn’t have to worry about the lunch crowd. Her order was always blessedly simple: a small medium roast with room for cream. It also helped that she was extremely pleasant to look at.

Most enjoyable, however, was probably the fact that she never gave the same name when he asked. One week she would be Lara Croft, the next Daenerys; always something new and always some delightful pop culture reference that seemed to prove their interests were in perfect conjunction. Each week as he called out the name, they would share a glance and a small smile of understanding.

Well, that was, until this week. Today, instead of instant recognition and that spark of shared interest, Percy was left confused. He was so taken aback he was forced to stutter, “Sorry, what-what was that?”

The dark haired woman smiled patiently. “Vex’ahlia.”

Vex’ahlia. It certainly sounded like a character from some fantasy story he’d enjoy. But it didn’t so much as produce a wisp of recognition in his mind. Percy frowned in disappointment. “Bad choice, I’m afraid.”

The woman’s pleasant demeanor vanished. “Excuse me?”

“The name. It was a bad choice.”

“It  _ wasn’t _ a choice. It’s  _ my _ name, asshole.” She was glaring at him now.

Oh. 

_ Shit _ .

Percy felt the heat rise up to his hairline. He fumbled with the marker in his hand, sheepishly asking her how to spell it around repeated perfusions of “Oh God, I’m such an ass.”

Vex’ahlia slapped a couple of dollars on the counter to pay for the coffee, but Percy immediately pushed them back towards her. “It’s on the house. I feel I’ve paid for it with my guilt.” 

As soon as the words “on the house” left Percy’s lips, Vex’ahlia’s face lit up.

“Well, if you’re really feeling  _ that  _ guilty,” she mused with a sly grin, “You could make me something fancier.”

Percy glanced around the shop. No one else was around. He had the time to make something more extravagant than black coffee for her. “What would you like?”

“Surprise me.” She winked, and Percy felt some of the heat return to his face.

Nodding, Percy tossed the paper coffee cup he was holding in favor of one of the shop’s nicer porcelain cups. He turned away from the counter to get to work, his mind immediately racing over what sort of drink could appease Vex’ahlia.

Her usual order was no help. She had specifically asked for something “fancier.” He thought of the way her eyes lit up at the prospect of a free drink. She was thrifty, but she probably had a taste for extravagance she rarely indulged. She always put a couple sugars in her coffee, so she liked sweet.

He got to work, firing up the espresso machine and pulling ingredients out of the cabinets: organic mint and honey they got from Keyleth at the local farmer’s market, a few other spices he thought would fit well together. He topped it off with the most elaborate latte art he could manage.

Vex’ahlia had moved to a table by the counter by the time he turned back around with the drink in hand. He caught her eye, and she raised an eyebrow in response.

Percy sighed. “Vex’ahlia!” He called out to the empty shop. She gracefully lifted herself from her perch and took the drink from his hands. She took a sip of the drink, eyeing it critically.

Her eyes fluttered close as she licked the foam from her upper lip. Percy fiddled with his glasses nervously, following the movement. Vex’ahlia sighed. “Damn. I can’t even pretend that’s not absolutely fantastic.”

Percy let out a small sigh of relief. “I’m glad it’s up to your standards… and if it’s of any comfort, I am in no position to judge anyone’s name.”

Vex’ahlia raised an eyebrow in question at him, taking another sip of coffee. Percy gestured at himself. “Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III.”

He felt a weight lift as she chuckled into her drink. “Most people just call me Percy.”

“ _ Percival _ ,” She said his name as if she were judging the taste of it like she did the drink in her hands. “Well, Percival, most people call me Vex.”

There was a moment of silence as Vex continued to drink her coffee, though she remained by the counter instead of making any move to one of the seats in the shop. Inevitably, Percy’s curiosity got the better of him. “If I may, why give your name now?”

“Hm?”

“Up until now, you’ve always given a different character’s name when I asked. Why now?”

Vex placed the cup on the counter and took a moment before answering. “Well, I figured you’d want to know my name before I gave you my number.”

“Oh.” Wait. “ _ Oh!” _ Percy felt his face flush once again. “I suppose I’ve mucked that up, haven’t I? You’ll probably never come back to this shop again with my luck.”

Vex smirked. “Oh, I don’t know about that, darling. I think you’ve earned enough of my forgiveness to get my continued patronage with this coffee.”

Should he push his luck? A stupid question, honestly. He always did. “Would buying you dinner earn enough to get that number?”

A delightful peal of laughter escaped Vex. “You can certainly try.”


End file.
